Be Yourself …

What does it mean to be yourself? If this doesn’t apply to you, then don’t think too much of it, its basically said to people, who are not comfortable with themselves, to teach them how to be more comfortable with themselves. No all of us need help is this department. Some of us, more well-adjusted than most, but if youre not completely happy with who you are, then know that youre not alone, and never to fret over what you are not. Inc.com encourages us to “be authentic,” meaning know your limitations in life, and either better yourself, or avoid undue and unnecessary stress, by “outsource[ing] jobs or tasks that you are not comfortable doing.” [1] How does this apply to the everyday person, respect yourself enough to know when to say no, half the battle of being comfortable with yourself, is not allowing yourself or your emotions to get the best of you, let alone enable anyone to control you, your outlook, or affect your well being, and change who you are as a person, bringing out your worst. It can be a self-aggrandizing experience to recite affirmations to yourself each day in order to feel good about yourself, who does that anyways, we are told to do a lot of things to bring hope back into our life, but how many of us read along, but don’t practice those skills in our lives. What is an easier way of knowing who we are, and being ourselves, without literally having to write out a list of all the things we are proud about for being ourselves. The “authentic way, … gives you a better chance at success.” [2] So how do we be authentic? When it comes to authenticity, Stephen Joseph (psychologist) explains “how everyone can discover their true self and transform their lives … [and end up] on path to a happier, more authentic life.” [3] First off, drop your defenses, studies have shown that those in “relationships in which they feel accepted, understood and valued” live more authentically, able to “accommodate new information” and begin to flourish. [4] Authenticity is what “makes us unique.” [5] So stop conforming, “if you truly want to be remarkable you must first learn how to be yourself…” [6] Part of loving who you are, and all the opinions you hold about life, means “accept yourself and stop seeking approval” [7] from others, learn how to trust your intuitions in life, just as you would raising your hand to speak in class, without anyone telling you what to say, already half knowing how to respond to the professor in a way to which they want to hear the information shared out loud, stuff we used to be good at, but practice less these days. You still have that inner student in you! That’s called following your intuition. Don’t compare your best to another persons best, if “love and attention” [8] is what you want out of life, you cannot love yourself, if you wish you were someone else in life, at some point you have to accept where your at and do your best with the hand you’ve been dealt in life. Surely we can live vicariously through others as tagalongs, but even in order to be a follower of anyone as a friend, you must first have some trait or quality about you that is beneficial to them being surrounded by your presence too. As tinybuddha.com says, “There is no shortcut to authenticity. It requires commitment and real inner work.” [9] For many people, this means coming to terms with their past, or wishing they would have lived life differently, and that if they lived life differently, then they would be better off as compared to where they are now, remember in order for healing to take place you cannot could’ve should’ve would’ve your way there, it requires a “daily practice” [10] of creating a “daily intention to become authentic” [11] that means loving and respecting all aspects of your life, as imperfect as you may or may not be, love yourself, and through your changes show that you acknowledge where you have been, and allow your actions to speak for themselves, its who witnesses your change that matters at that point, not your ability to explain yourself so much, about how you’ve changed or why you’ve changed, let people be happy for you on their own terms, you cannot expect people to be happy for you, and for you to shine, when you think its time for you to shine, that’s not in your control, what other people think, instead work on your inner self, stay connected to “your truth and your authenticity will radiate through you.” [12] I used to think that my Therapist wasn’t listening to me, when she would reply every person has their own truth, I guess that was her way of explaining to me, that there are two sides to every story, and different ways in which people react and respond to life, your life, whats happening, and where one another stands in relationship to how life is being lived currently, some will think life is perfect just the way it is, and others may complain and wish that life was easier to be lived, and that their hardships are real and due to some cosmic force against them that’s keeping them from achieving in life, whatever types of discrimination you experience in life may be, don’t allow your fears to come to fruition, and stop enabling others to think about you in that way, by catering to those opinions and judgments of you, by constantly responding in the negative, and not feeling like your best self, who are they to keep you from living life, we all sleep and wake up, the same, we are all human, allow the days to pass, until the day becomes your day, no longer feeling ruled by others, you too can enjoy the spontaneity of life again, if you are willing to let go, of these false premises from which you think you are supposed to live life, by the terms set by others, and begin living by your own terms in life again, that’s empowerment, and independence, moving away from self-diagnosing as this this or that, and coming into your own, standing among, as no different, but feeling the same joys that life has to offer, and experience the same happiness’s that others get to enjoy.

 

References:

 

[1] https://www.inc.com/rhett-power/the-power-of-being-yourself.html

 

[2] Id at 1.

 

[3] https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07DZX1TQH/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1

 

[4] Id at 3.

 

[5] https://medium.com/better-humans/how-to-unlock-your-authentic-self-and-become-remarkable-in-every-way-154bfd50a998

 

[6] Id at 5.

 

[7] https://tinybuddha.com/blog/becoming-more-authentic-accept-yourself-and-stop-seeking-approval/

 

[8] Id at 7.

 

[9] Id at 7.

 

[10] Id at 7.

 

[11] Id at 7.

 

[12] Id at 7.

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